"I Want to Love You like it's Automatic..."

I bought Stellar Kart's new cd for my friend Kerra as a birthday gift last month, and now this week I have been borrowing it. lol :)

There is a song on the album called "Automatic" and I love the lyrics a lot! The chorus goes:

Just like I breathe
and my heart beats

I wanna love you like it's automatic
make you into my good habit
You're the only one that really matters
every minute everyday it's automatically ok
when I make it all about you

Can you imagine being able to "automatically" love Jesus? Every single breath you took would automatically be taken for the glory of God. I was thinking that would be awesome! Those times when I would usually be grouchy, unfriendly, or rude, I would instead do the opposite- just out of habit! I'd get to love like Jesus does out of habit! Praying wouldn't be something that I'd "find time to do", but rather, something that I just did out of habit constantly.

At first, I thought that would be a great way to go. But then I got to thinking about how wonderful it is to grow as a child of God, and it occured to me that if I were to "automatically" love Jesus, I wouldn't get to experience much of the joy that comes with learning to truly love Jesus. Making good decisions instead of bad ones wouldn't be an exciting accomplishment, it would just be the way it is.

After thinking about that, I am really thankful for the freedom God gave us. I just hate my sinful flesh! Knowing how many mistakes I make EVERY SINGLE DAY really makes me terribly distraught. I want to do so much for God, but first I MUST learn to let go of my wishes and my will, so that I can fully surrender to His. He's not going to let me work for Him in a bigger way unless/until I'm ready. Right now I'm going through training ;)

I want to be in ministry. Our Pastor said that if you are a follower of Christ, then it doesn't matter what job you have or what you do for a living, that is your ministry! If you are a stay at home Mom, that's your ministry. If you are a plumber, then that is your ministry. Whatever job you have- that is your ministry! I am SO curious & excited about finding out what field of ministry God's going to lead me into. I really do want God to use me to bring others closer to Him, there is honestly no other job that sounds more fulfilling in my opinion. My favorite topic of conversation with other people is God, and things He has taught me in life. How blessed I feel, knowing that God's going to give me so many opportunities to talk to people about just that, as I continue to grow in my knowledge of my Savior :)

*Happy Sigh*

My Dad is going to drive down tonight so that he can see me in the morning! Not ONLY that, but he is bringing Zaya and Abyni along with him! I'm so excited! We are going to drive to Joplin to see Living Sacrifice and Demon Hunter in concert, which is going to be just amazing! I don't really like listening to either of the bands album's for more than 5 minutes, but I think I'll REALLY like them live :)

My friend Garrett & I are going to get together sometime next week to do some songwriting together! How exciting is that?! I can hardly wait! I can't believe someone so musically talented asked ME to write songs with them. lol! I'm really looking forward to it. I have always wanted to do stuff like this somewhat, and I'm beyond thankful for this opportunity :) Thank you, Garrett!

Oh, one more thing: Yesterday I drove on the busy highways & also on the turnpike! I have had my permit for awhile, but haven't been allowed to drive on those bigger roads until now. I was scared to death before I got on the highway, and then when I got onto it, I was like, "Wow, this isn't so bad!" Hehe :) And the turnpike was amazingly splendid. I felt so FREE! :D

Well, off to eat dinner! God bless!

James 4:8 - Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.