Constructive Love

Today I was reading the Phillips translation of 1 Corinthians 13:4, and I love it!

"This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience - it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance."

The "constructive" part really got me thinking... I looked up the word "constructive" in the dictionary, and this is the definition I read:

1. Constructing or tending to construct; helping to improve; promoting further development or advancement

So... part of what that verse is saying is that love looks for a way to improve, or advance the loved one's life. It kind of sounds like a quote I heard once, "True success is found when you help others succeed." Synonyms I found for the word "constructive" include helpful, effective, positive, practical, productive, useful, and valuable.

I worry about loving people as much as God wants me to... what if they don't give me credit? What if I love them, and then they leave? What if I love them, and they keep treating me so terribly? What if I love them, and it makes NO difference in MY life? There is one word to sum up these thoughts: SELFISHNESS! (Sefishness= the opposite of love, in my opinion) I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I have these thoughts, but I would be lying if I said that I don't. If I'm only loving people to make sure that it makes my life better, then I'm not really loving them, am I? I'm not working to try and make someone else's life better if this is the case, only my own life.

My goal for, well, forever is to make loving others a habit of mine. These are questions I am going to try and ask myself daily for the next month, and hopefully it will become something I do constantly as a habit in the process.

-To whom, and how can I show God's love today?
-To whom, and how can I encourage someone today?
-Who can I build up today, and how?
-How can I improve someone else's life today? (Someone ELSE'S life- not your own, Sprite!)
-How can I bless someone else today?

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." -Mother Teresa

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

God LOVES you. He has never, will never, and could never take His eyes off of you! He's obsessed with you! He IS true love! The Creator of the universe lives to hear your heartbeat! Doesn't that THRILL you? When you love Him back, He is THRILLED, too :) Think of the people who you love the most in life. Imagine how it would feel if they didn't really love you back. I hear it ALL the time, actually... "I love so and so more than anyone in the world, but they don't even know that I exist!" Lol... imagine if "so and so" DID realize you existed, and not only that, but they LOVED you! HOW happy would that make you feel? God feels that way when we love Him! I know that in my life, there have been many people who I have met who I wanted to be friends with SO badly, and I would have been honored had they even considered me an aquaintance. And oh my gosh, if they would be FRIENDS with me, that would really be too good to be true! Lol. God loves you and me more than words could say. When we love Him back, we bring the biggest smile to His face. For as good as He is, and as much as He loves us, lets love Him back! :)

Have a lovely Valentine's Day, everyone ♥

Thinking About the Future... It's Getting Closer! :)

I LOVE kids. I love to babysit, and I'm so happy, because I have started babysitting for a really sweet family from the Church where I work. I am SO blessed to get to babysit for them! :)

Sometimes I just want to be a "grown-up" and be married with kids of my own. I'm thankful for my life right now, and I do try to live in the moment, but sometimes I crave the day when I have a husband and children who I can cherish and adore! I think it is a healthy desire, because I think very hard about ways to be a good wife and mother when the time does come for me.

I'm extremely thankful for this time of preperation- sometimes, as badly as I want it to be over, I don't want it to end, because I feel like I will never be a good enough wife or mother. God is preparing me, though, that is for sure. I definitely see that in my life right now. It's SO exciting! I feel like God has something AMAZING in store for me, something that I get to experience really soon! :D

I don't want to go to college... I have never really had the desire. I have never thought about what I want to do instead... and then lately, God has brought things to my attention! That really taught me how much I can trust Him. I truly don't have to worry- He's taking care of things :)

One of my friends was telling me about a missions group that travels around to different Churches to do really in-depth children's ministry and things like that. I think that getting to do something like that would be BEYOND WONDERFUL! Getting the opportunity to travel around and share God's love with people? Oh my gosh, SIGN ME UP! Lol :) Not only would I get to work doing children's ministry, but I could meet other people who have a heart for ministry, too!

Also, a little part of one of my Economics assignments last week was to pick a "career" to have once I get out of school. It wasn't that big of a deal, so I just went with the second thing that popped into my head: being a nanny! (This is assuming I'm not married yet, and don't have my own children to take care of.) I had never really thought about that seriously, but now that I have, I think it would be another great option of something to do once I'm out of school :) Amazing training for being a Mom, too ;)

*Happy Sigh* I'm really looking forward to my life! Lol! :) My life as in now until, well, eternity! Hehe :D

And I must say, today is a very special day! 'Tis the birthday of my favorite person in the entire world, other than my Mom. Lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA SUE!!! My Grandma Sue is seriously THE best EVER. I love her more than I could ever put into words. She is outstanding, and I can't imagine my life without her! I LOVE MY GRANDMA SUE!!! Happy birthday!

Blessings to everyone♥ :)

"Do" and "Don't" Commandments

I was listening to a Disciple interview last night, and Kevin was talking about the commands God has given us. The greatest command we have been given is to LOVE. Love God, and love others. Kevin was putting emphasis on the fact that these are "do" commandments, and not "don't" commandments. That really got me thinking... I don't know about you guys, but for me, it seems harder to do what God has commanded me to do than it is for me not to do what God has commanded me not to do. For instance, God has commanded me not to steal, and not to lie. I would never even think of stealing anything, and before I think of telling a lie, I remember that God has commanded me not to lie, so I can decide to obey him, and tell the truth. However, doing what God has told me to do is a whole different issue. It seems to take more time and thought, and I am not so good at it.

Glub Glub!

I'm having a hard time. I'm trying to figure something out, and it's very difficult. Maybe one of you blogger buddies of mine can help me out =)

The thing that I am having a difficult time with is finding a happy medium between 2 things:

1. Study hard, focus on your education [and]
2. Live today as if it were your last

I don't know about you, but if today was the last day of my life, I would NOT be doing school, or chores, or anything like that! LOL!

I read a book this summer called "Driven by Eternity", and it was about using your life to do things that will matter for eternity in heaven.

-If I work extremely hard on schoolwork, then I will probably have more options of things to do that will count for eternity when I get out of school. I will be knowledgeable, which will really help living for God.

-If I "live today as if it were my last", I SO wouldn't be doing school! I would be constantly focusing on my relationship with God, letting Him use me to lead others to Him, and also, I would be doing things for people I love, and letting them know that I loved them in every way I could. I woodnt b wastin non time of mine wit educaton. LOL =D

So... that is what I have been thinking a lot about lately. I feel like I must find a happy medium, or go with one extreme or the other. What are YOUR thoughts?

Moving on...

Last night we went to see "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". The majority of the cast was age 17 or younger, mostly young children. They did so well! It was SO BEYOND HILARIOUS!!! It made my week! Seriously, my Mom and I were SCREAMING with laughter, it was fabulous! =D Garrett came with us, which made it even more fun, and oh my gosh, my Mom and I were hysterically giddy! It was really funny! I hope Garrett doesn't have an insane headache today, though. He did have to listen to our loud laughter for a couple of hours!

It was SO funny... during intermission, I had the sudden urge to turn to my Mom, or Garrett, and say, "Guess what sound a fish makes?" and then say, "Glub Glub!" HAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't know WHERE that sudden urge came from, but it seemed like such a random, funny thing to say! Just the sound "glub glub" is hilarious... I LOVE it, and I will be saying it all of the time now, esp. when there is an awkward silence! =D People will think, "What a dork!" but I won't care =)

Somedays I feel immensely happy! Today is one of those days, and it is truly splendid!

Thank you for reading my blog! I really appreciate it! I really appreciate YOU! JESUS LOVES YOU!!! =D

Amazing Grace =D

When I get totally wrapped up in my love for God, and how phenomenal He is, it is so amazing how suddenly nothing else matters, other than God Himself, and making sure you are living for Him alone.

Yesterday I was feeling kinda down about stuff, and I was feeling unhappy with myself. WAIT! Did you notice that word? MYSELF? THAT is who gets me into trouble, myself! When I seek God, and begin worshipping Him, it's not about me, and that is when I am happiest! When I am not looking at how good or bad I am, but how incredible God is! That is when I live in the moment, and when I never, ever want to leave the moment; when I am truly worshipping my Savior!

I look forward to heaven, because I will get to worship my God non-stop. It's sad that I think that, though, because I should be worshiping God non-stop here on earth! But the thing is, in heaven, there will be no distractions, I won't have to do school, and nothing else will be a priority!

What if we didn't wait until we "feel" like praising God... or until our lives are not so busy? What if we lived our lives constantly worshipping God in some way? That's what we were born to do! I wonder what it is like for God to look at people like me, who tend to put Him aside way too often. He knows that if we would just put our sight on Him, that it would be the best thing for us! And those of us who have experienced His love in our lives know that He deserves it! He deserves more than we could ever give!

Wow, I didn't mean to take off typing like that! Lol! I just meant to write a little paragraph... :)

*Happy sigh*

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see...

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His Word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

"I Want to Love You like it's Automatic..."

I bought Stellar Kart's new cd for my friend Kerra as a birthday gift last month, and now this week I have been borrowing it. lol :)

There is a song on the album called "Automatic" and I love the lyrics a lot! The chorus goes:

Just like I breathe
and my heart beats

I wanna love you like it's automatic
make you into my good habit
You're the only one that really matters
every minute everyday it's automatically ok
when I make it all about you

Can you imagine being able to "automatically" love Jesus? Every single breath you took would automatically be taken for the glory of God. I was thinking that would be awesome! Those times when I would usually be grouchy, unfriendly, or rude, I would instead do the opposite- just out of habit! I'd get to love like Jesus does out of habit! Praying wouldn't be something that I'd "find time to do", but rather, something that I just did out of habit constantly.

At first, I thought that would be a great way to go. But then I got to thinking about how wonderful it is to grow as a child of God, and it occured to me that if I were to "automatically" love Jesus, I wouldn't get to experience much of the joy that comes with learning to truly love Jesus. Making good decisions instead of bad ones wouldn't be an exciting accomplishment, it would just be the way it is.

After thinking about that, I am really thankful for the freedom God gave us. I just hate my sinful flesh! Knowing how many mistakes I make EVERY SINGLE DAY really makes me terribly distraught. I want to do so much for God, but first I MUST learn to let go of my wishes and my will, so that I can fully surrender to His. He's not going to let me work for Him in a bigger way unless/until I'm ready. Right now I'm going through training ;)

I want to be in ministry. Our Pastor said that if you are a follower of Christ, then it doesn't matter what job you have or what you do for a living, that is your ministry! If you are a stay at home Mom, that's your ministry. If you are a plumber, then that is your ministry. Whatever job you have- that is your ministry! I am SO curious & excited about finding out what field of ministry God's going to lead me into. I really do want God to use me to bring others closer to Him, there is honestly no other job that sounds more fulfilling in my opinion. My favorite topic of conversation with other people is God, and things He has taught me in life. How blessed I feel, knowing that God's going to give me so many opportunities to talk to people about just that, as I continue to grow in my knowledge of my Savior :)

*Happy Sigh*

My Dad is going to drive down tonight so that he can see me in the morning! Not ONLY that, but he is bringing Zaya and Abyni along with him! I'm so excited! We are going to drive to Joplin to see Living Sacrifice and Demon Hunter in concert, which is going to be just amazing! I don't really like listening to either of the bands album's for more than 5 minutes, but I think I'll REALLY like them live :)

My friend Garrett & I are going to get together sometime next week to do some songwriting together! How exciting is that?! I can hardly wait! I can't believe someone so musically talented asked ME to write songs with them. lol! I'm really looking forward to it. I have always wanted to do stuff like this somewhat, and I'm beyond thankful for this opportunity :) Thank you, Garrett!

Oh, one more thing: Yesterday I drove on the busy highways & also on the turnpike! I have had my permit for awhile, but haven't been allowed to drive on those bigger roads until now. I was scared to death before I got on the highway, and then when I got onto it, I was like, "Wow, this isn't so bad!" Hehe :) And the turnpike was amazingly splendid. I felt so FREE! :D

Well, off to eat dinner! God bless!

James 4:8 - Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.

It's SUMMER!

Oh my goodness... I love summer SO much! I feel so free! I was kind of worried about summer at first, because I thought that I was going to be GONE the whole time, not getting enough sleep, and I figured I'd reach a point of pure grouchiness. lol. Things have changed, though, and so I'm not going anywhere out of state in the month of June, & the month has been really fun so far! I have spent a ton of time with friends, it is so cool to be able to invite friends over more! We got our pool set up, and boy oh boy is that awesome! I am working 1-2 days a week, which has been great. I have done a lot of Bible study & stuff like that, and seriously, growing into a disciple of Jesus Christ is the best thing in the world. I don't want to say the best feeling in the world, because it's more than that. It really makes me realize how empty I would be without God.

In July, I'm going to go to Canada with my older brother, to meet up with my Dad & two younger siblings to spend time with my sister who lives in Canada. I am REALLY looking forward to it! I miss my sister SO much, I haven't seen her for years. I miss the rest of my family, too. I have to admit I'm looking forward to Canada itself, also. (eh?)

After I get home from Canada & rest up for awhile, I'm going to camp! I'm going with my friend Kerra & her youth group, like I did last year. I am really looking forward to it! Last year was so much fun, & I learned a lot, growing as a Christian. 'Twas splendid!

In August, I'm going to go to South Dakota (that state that is south of North Dakota, ya know) with my FANTABULOUS Grandma and Grandpa. I'm going to a HUGE motorcycle rally- Sturgis! I am SO EXCITED! I miss living on the road & motorcycle rallies sometimes, so I'm very thankful that my Grandma is letting me join her & help her out with one this summer. She did last summer, too, and it was wonderful :)

After that, I'm going to come home and start school again. I will go, "Goodness gracious, summer is over already?" Time flies when you are having fun, & God has blessed me with a summer that is going to be beyond fun. Thank You, Lord!

My First Blogspot Post!

Today I was looking at lyrics from a Disciple song called "Fall on Me". It goes like this:

Take my eyes from me, so I will see in Spirit
Change my mind to think, on what You see fit
The heavens declare Your glory, but does my witness
May You be glorified in me, Lord may I be blameless

Chorus
Fall on me

I am available to do Your will
In my life I pray Your Word is fulfilled...

And it continues.

Goodness gracious! Lyrics like that REALLY stir up a passion in me! I dug deep into each verse, and oh goodness! Aren't those awesome lyrics?! The "I am available to do Your will" part made me wonder...

#1: AM I making myself available to do God's Will?

#2: What IS God's will for my life?

#3: How does this apply to RIGHT NOW?

& #4: What changes should I make in my life to better live out God's will?

One of the first things God pointed out to me is that He wants a relationship with me. This is part of His will for my life. There are too many days that go by in my life where I decide to pass on my Bible time, or wait until the "next day" to write in my prayer journal, because I am "too tired" or "too busy" at the current moment. So I decided to make it a number 1 priority to do prayer, Bible & devotional time every day. I usually do, but I have found it too easy to put time with God aside some days because of my selfishness. I think I'd rather sit around and do nothing. So, there is one change in my life that I can make. There are so many more that I need to make, though. I cannot believe how selfish I am!

The current series at our Church is called "Fanatic". The main point of the series is that there is a war going on for our worship. Satan tries to get us to worship anything or anyone other than God, where as God wants to have all of our worship. He is the only one worthy of our worship. Today our campus Pastor was talking about how his wife is fanatical about George Clooney, and one time, she got a chance to meet him. She was, of course, delighted, and was not only going to NOT pass on the offer, but of course she was rushing & very excited about this chance that she got. Pastor Tome made a good point that we need to be like that with God. If I was offered the chance to go spend a day with a member of Disciple, I would flip out, and be beyond excited! Which isn't a bad thing, of course, but then I think... I am offered time with GOD every single day! The Creator of the Universe, the Almighty and merciful God! The only one worthy of my worship. I TURN THAT AWAY! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would DO that? What kind of logic is that? Seriously!

Lord Jesus, please teach me what it means to truly love You. Make me FANATICAL about You!